"I’m not a pub girl": Rethinking Belonging in team culture

Anyone who knows me knows the pub life isn’t for me. Sticky floors, noisy crowds, and let’s face it, not a lot of faces that look like mine. It’s never been my vibe.

But back in the day, I went anyway. Not because I wanted to, but because that’s where my colleagues went after work. I didn’t want to be the odd one out, so there I was, sipping my drink, counting the minutes until I could make a graceful exit.

I know I’m not alone. Plenty of people, friends, family, colleagues, feel the same way. Pubs just aren’t their thing. Yet many find themselves there for the sake of team bonding or networking moments they don’t want to miss out on.

Here’s the thing: belonging doesn’t happen just because you’re in the room. If you’re uncomfortable the whole time, you’re not really included. You’re just surviving.

Belonging starts with awareness

When people ask me how organisations can create a genuine sense of belonging, I always say: start by understanding that not everyone is a pub person. And this isn’t just about preferences; it’s about recognising the cultural, religious, or personal reasons that shape people’s comfort zones.

Belonging thrives in spaces where people feel safe and valued. If we’re expecting people to show up and connect authentically, we have to meet them halfway. Sometimes literally.

Tips for Leaders that want to create Belonging

1. Ask, don’t assume
   Want to know where your team feels comfortable? Ask them. A quick survey or an open conversation can give you insight into venues or activities that resonate with everyone.

2. Rotate venues
   Don’t default to the same old spot. Switch it up with a mix of pubs, bars, cafés, and restaurants, or even something non-food-related, like a park or bowling alley.

3. Plan non-alcohol-centered activities
   Not everyone drinks alcohol, so consider alternatives like escape rooms, art classes, or cooking workshops. The goal is connection, not consumption.

4. Be inclusive of time and accessibility
   Take into account people’s schedules, caregiving responsibilities, and transportation needs. A late-night pub might not work for everyone, but a lunch or afternoon activity could be perfect.

5. Lead by example
   If you’re the leader, your choices set the tone. Be the one who champions inclusive venues and activities, showing your team that their comfort matters.

Why it matters

Belonging isn’t about forcing everyone into the same space. It’s about creating environments where people feel they can genuinely show up as themselves. A simple venue change might not seem like much, but it sends a powerful message: your voice, your presence, and your comfort matter.

Let’s rethink how and where we connect. Because belonging doesn’t live in the room; it lives in the effort we make to meet each other where we are.

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